Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

Fav 2 2971 920
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(315): View more from New York

I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

Fav 37 3485 1147
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(419): View more from Ohio

He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

Fav 23 1224 7862
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.

Fav 2 1068 2496
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Houston, we have a squirter

Fav 25 6936 1770
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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.

(904): View more from Florida

Yeah he's good at that.

Fav 5 1037 1748
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.

Fav 1 1327 776
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.

(952): View more from Minnesota

You're a saint.

Fav 0 86 10
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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm so gassy and it's your fault.

Fav 0 14 46
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