oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
