Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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