Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
