i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
