Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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