I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who died my cat blue again?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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