it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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