so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
