Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
