If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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