Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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