I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
