Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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