Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
