Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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