I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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