hotel room ftw
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We are all done wearing pants today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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