I'm so fucking centered right now
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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