good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
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Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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