Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
