in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
