she smelled like a LAN party
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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