But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
