you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
