apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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