This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
