Duck Duck Cougar?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
