I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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