I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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