I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
