yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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