His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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