So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
