Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
