On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
