you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
