omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
