Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize