how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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