My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
