You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
