You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
