Well apparently he's into motor boating.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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