TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
