No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
