I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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