did you get engaged???
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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