Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
