Plan B is the new Plan A
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
