When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
