I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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