dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
