just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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