There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
porn star boner night. come get it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
