Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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