I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
