I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
