I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
