fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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