he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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