True but thats because hes a fetus.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
